the eden that is jason hernandez

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the eden that is jason hernandez

In honor of my dearly beloved’s birthday, a poetic homilette about the amazingness and wowiness that is Jason Robert Hernández.  Felicidades y bendiciones mi corazón!!!

I wonder if what I feel for my beloved is what Adam felt when he first saw Eve?
The tingling of butterflies in my tummy,
Feeling my heart beat with the liveliness of creation,
Having breath be taken away while being filled with life and hope,
Being immersed, enveloped, surrounded by the joy
and celebration and wholeness of a moment…
It is knowing in one’s most inner being that this creation…
this being…this embodiment of operatic flair…
this person was given to me…created for me…entrusted to me…
placed in my life and no one else’s by GOD…
in order to complete me, as Adam did for Eve and Eve for Adam. 

I share in the joy Adam must have felt in the garden
to encounter another who was like him but who was also different.  
How Adam’s heart filled with joyful praise to and for GOD…
For creating a partner, friend, lover, support, head butter—
Someone to share and create a life with in the garden
But who could also help in finding Eden in the pain of exile.

Ten years ago, in the Eden of a church parking lot…
freshly out of seminary (in more ways than one)…
After being listened to for more than 5 hours … hours of my rambling and ranting…
I beheld my beloved like Adam did in the garden.
I gave thanks to GOD…
I felt whole…
my eyes were opened…
the spirit came upon me…
I knew that I was no longer alone.

It is knowing in the pit of my stomach which is deeper than my heart,
that my beloved is the embodiment, reflection, and expression of GOD’s love for me.
I came to understand the joy that Adam felt when he met, beheld, gazed at Eve…
When he knew that this other completed him like no other could.
He is the one…
Que alegria, what joy, to know that I was completed and made whole…
That I was divinely favored…
That this person was placed in my life by a GOD who loves me  
and does not want me to be alone …
a sentiment, a feeling, an action expressed and embodied in and through a person.

It was joyful, soulful, heartful…
It was at that moment that I understood what it meant to be beheld and created as good.
GOD came near and continues to come near through this loud, lovable, handsome, loud, kind, opinionated, listening, loud, funny, selfless, sexy, intelligent, stubborn, loud diva of a teddy bear.

I was and continue to be humbly and happily thankful for having a friend, lover, partner, head-butter, caregiver, husband, shoulder to cry and laugh on, sounding board, protector, provider, person to keep me on my toes, teacher, challenger, and embodied reminder of GOD’ love…

I am excited about how we will find ways to be fruitful with and multiply the many gifts GOD has graced us with…

As I imagine with Adam and Eve,
not everything has been roses, unicorns, glitter, and harmony. 
We have had our moments of exile as well as euphoria,
celebration as well as conflict,
reckonings as well as reconciliations…

Through it all, with each step we have taken, with each step we take, with each step we will take in this ongoing salsa dance we call life…
I know in my heart of hearts,
in the deepest recesses of my soul,
in the inner workings of my brain
that he is the one that completes me…wow…yay GOD!!!

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About delfinwaldemar

i am a native of miami, fl and i am of cuban and salvadoran heritage. i am a social worker and queer theologian who is passionate about engaging the intersections of religion, sexuality, race/ethnicity, and justice—specifically around lgbtq issues. i have a master in divinity as well as a master of social work. as an activist scholar of faith, i am interested in creating spaces where individuals and communities are safe and challenged to explore identity, expression, gender, and orientation in their complexities. i enjoy cooking, eating, laughing, writing, photography, eating more, “queerying” theology, and spending time with family and friends--especially my dearly beloved (while also driving him crazy). my approach to life is rooted in la lucha (the struggle)—lifting up our stories and experiences to inspire creative and authentic conversations and actions that thrive outside boxes transgressing dominant narratives. i hope this space will provide folks who feel isolated or disconnected from communities, especially religious one, an opportunity to wrestle and reconnect and re-member and simply be with the sacred. being raised roman catholic, i have felt marginalized and alone because of who i am within my church community--my queerness bars me from being able to pursue ordination and so this blog will be a space for me to share my journey of faith through homilies, pictures, liturgies, rants, queeries...my prayer is that this space become a pulpit and sanctuary, a new way of living into our call to radical holiness juntos...a place where you, me, G-d will caminar juntos y juntas en la lucha. Amen.

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